Tuesday, April 26, 2011

BSB Nick Carter Loses Weight, Looks Good for an Old Guy

To the most handsome Nick Carter:

It's been a while since we last spoke. Of course, by spoke, I actually mean since I gazed longingly at the poster of you with your Backstreet Boys counterparts circa 1996 alongside my bed. But today I write because I just want you to know that I'm proud of you. At 31 years old, it looks like you've been doing pretty well for yourself. Congratulations, blondie!

First and foremost, kudos on your new gig touring as an integral part of NKOTBSB! And your solo album! It's clear you've quit playing games and you're really staying true to your promise of becoming larger than life. But what I'm most impressed with, the real reason for this letter, is your astounding 65-pound weight loss. You look fantastic! To think, it is possible to better yourself after dating Paris Hilton ...


You had me nervous for a little while there, Nickster. A 10-year addiction to alcohol and drugs is nothing to joke about. But now after hearing you talk about your struggles with weight to FOX, I can honestly say a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I freak out if I go a little too long without being in the gym. For a long time it was all about getting the weight off because I was 240 pounds at my heaviest, and now I'm around 175.

WOW-eeeee! Truly Nicky, I hardly noticed the extra poundage. That's the thing about men ... so often you don't realize that they've packed on a few extra LBs (lucky dogs). Really, your striking features and excellent ability to layer suit jackets and colored shirts enabled me to look past your pudge, for sure! But now, I can see your cheekbones as clear as the top of the Empire State Building on a sunny NYC day. And I like it.

You've gotta be amped about the extra health benefits to grab hold of now that you're a little lighter on your feet, right? Improved mobility, lower blood pressure, better sleep quality, AND increased energy levels; all things you will need at the end of May when New Kids on the Block & Backstreet Boys start touring together and your solo album I'm Taking Off debuts!

Just do me a favor, and be careful OK? You look good now. But a gym addiction isn't any fun, and hollowed out cheeks are so out. Not to mention, you wouldn't want skinny-minny arms like some Victoria's Secret models. Keep up the good work, and stay fit! OH, and let me know if you have any extra tickets for your NY tour dates. Your girlfriend won't mind, right?

xoxo

Emmy

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